What Does It Mean to Be Bisexual?

Being bisexual means we have the potential to be attracted to either sex. Some bisexuals, like me, may be attracted to each sex in a different way; but basically, we are capable of loving people of either sex. – Mikey, age 14

You might find that you like both sexes equally, or you might like one sex more than the other. It depends on you. – Irene, age 19

Bisexual people have the capacity to love people of either gender. This can include physical, sexual, and emotional attraction to and/or relationships with men and women. Over time in life, a bisexual person might feel equally attracted to men and women or to one gender in preference to the other. The strength of these attractions may change over time. Being bisexual does not define sexual behavior. Bisexual people may be monogamous or abstinent or may have multiple sexual partners, just like heterosexual, lesbian and gay people. Many people are bisexual, and bisexuality cuts across distinctions of race/ethnicity, gender, age, class, ability, and religious affiliation. You are not alone, and you are likely to meet bisexual people just about anywhere you go.

How Do I Know If I’m Bisexual?

There is a lot of confusion at first. Society teaches that people can only be one way or the other [gay or straight] or that bisexuality is a stage or a phase, and one doesn’t stay there for very long. But once past the confusion, you’ll know you are bisexual as surely as your pal knows she’s straight and your other pal knows he’s gay. – Eric, age 24

I always knew I was attracted to women, but I felt a pull towards men as well. – Suzanna, age 17

Determining your sexuality can be highly confusing. Teenagers often feel a lot of pressure to choose to define themselves as being heterosexual or gay/lesbian. You might feel that you do not fit either of these categories, and you may notice that you are “turned on” and have sexual feelings about both your own and the other gender. These feelings may indicate you will identify as bisexual. Keep in mind, however, that you do not have to prove you are bisexual. There is no test for bisexuality.

A bisexual person may have one committed relationship that lasts for decades. Many bisexual people have no sexual relationships or have these relationships with people of only one gender; yet, they still consider themselves bisexual. Some people have relationships with people of their same gender as well as the opposite gender, yet do not identify as bisexual. It all comes down to what makes you feel most comfortable and what you perceive yourself to be. Don’t worry about not knowing for sure. Sexuality develops over time, and you should feel no pressure to identify in any particular way.

Am I Normal?

You are normal. Sexuality is just another part of what makes each person an individual. – Scott, age 16

Absolutely! Being bisexual is very natural. It’s a part of who I am. How can loving people be unnatural? – Heather, age 20

Yes, it is perfectly natural for some people to be bisexual and to feel attracted to both male and female people!!! Sexual feelings toward women and men are perfectly natural and normal for bisexual people. Society does not encourage bisexuality, and that can make accepting your bisexuality more difficult. But just like lesbian, gay, and straight people, you are perfectly normal.

How Do I Accept My Identity?

Know that you are special; you are not an anomaly. Surround yourself with supportive people. – Maia, age 20

The only way you will like yourself is to be yourself. Don’t let other people’s bigotry make you feel bad about who you are. – Scott, age 16

Coming to terms with your bisexuality can be difficult. However, many people have difficulty learning to like themselves, regardless of their sexual orientation. Many people also have difficulty understanding bisexuality, and some bisexual people may try to hide their bisexuality. In an effort to numb the effects of societal stigma, bisexual youth may turn to drugs and alcohol and may even attempt suicide because their situation seems unbearable. If you have considered suicide, it’s important to know that you are not alone. Please call our local Switchboard of Miami GLBT Suicide Awareness Initiative hotline (305) 646-3600 available 24/7 (trilingual staff will be ready to assist in English, Spanish, and Creole). Or contact The Trevor Project, a national LGBT youth suicide prevention hotline (866) 488-7386. You and your feelings are valuable, and more and more young bisexual youth are learning to like themselves.

Millions of other bisexual people — just like you — lead successful, happy lives. It helps to be informed and to know that you aren’t alone. Read about bisexuality. Learn what it means to be bisexual. Make an effort to meet other bisexual people; they can be a valuable resource to build your self-confidence.

There are websites by and for young people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) such as www.youthresource.com and www.ambientejoven.org You may wish to visit these websites. More than 15,000 gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender youth visit them each month; most of them visit repeatedly. Just remember that there are bisexual people wherever you are. Sooner or later, you will meet someone who feels some of the same things you do and has had similar experiences. Realizing that you are not the only bisexual person will make liking yourself a lot easier.

If you want to talk to someone at The Alliance, give us a call at (305) 899-8087, we are here to support you.

Whom Should I Tell?

It’s a good idea not to come out until you are comfortable with your bisexuality. Don’t come out because you feel you must, because people are pressuring you, or because you want to be cool and make an impression. Come to think of it, those are also not good reasons to stay in the closet. Just take it at your own pace. This isn’t about other people, only you. – Steven, age 20

I find coming out less difficult the more you do it. The first time is really hard, but it gets easier. It is also very liberating. – Maia, age 20

Coming to terms with your own sexuality can be very difficult. In fact, the hardest person you may ever have to tell is yourself! Only tell others when you feel you are ready. It’s not always easy. Some people might be very receptive, while others might not be able to handle the information as well as you had hoped they would. Sometimes it might be easier to talk about your sexuality with someone you know will understand, such as a friend, sibling, parent, guidance counselor, or a trusted adult. You may also find someone to talk with at youth groups. Reaching out can help ensure you have support as you talk about your sexuality. You might be surprised at the relief you will feel when you know others understand you.

If you want to talk to someone at The Alliance, give us a call at (305) 899-8087, we are here to support you.

How Can I Meet Other Bisexual People?

If you decide to come out openly, you may find some bisexuals walking right up to you! – Steven, age 20

Currently, I am a member of a community queer youth group in my area, and it is a great way to meet people. – Suzanna, age 17

Many schools have GSAs (Gay Straight Alliances) organizations on campus; these groups are inclusive of all GLBTQ people. Check with your school activities advisor. The Alliance facilitates GLBTQ support groups at many Miami-Dade County schools – if your school doesn’t have one and you want one, talk to your TRUST Counselor or Sexual Minority Youth Liaison about getting one starting or give us a call at (305) 899-8087.